


Though Darkness May Be Our Companion, I Will Watch Over You

by LadyAnidala



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Let them have a normal life, My poor traumatized bbys, Nightmares, Someone shelter them from the galaxy pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28146366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAnidala/pseuds/LadyAnidala
Summary: Since the day of the Purge, Cal Kestis had only himself - no Master to guide him, no Clones to watch over him, no childhood to be his.When yet another nightmare of his late Master surfaced, Cal found that he wasn't alone, nor did he have to carry his burdens by himself either.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Though Darkness May Be Our Companion, I Will Watch Over You

_“Padawan.”_

_A purple skinned Lasat appeared out of the surrounding dark grey mist. He wore Jedi armor atop his robes, with his double-bladed lightsaber attached to his belt. Cal could only see him in the midst of the room. Mangled screams bounced off nonexistent walls, and Clone Troopers shouted orders at each other. None of the clones could be found._

_“Master?!” Cal shouted._

_Blue laser bolts burst forth from the darkness, hitting their target._

_The mist shifted into the interior of an escape pod. The purple Lasat laid there riddled with laser wounds, several of which were fatal. The male sentient had moments to live._

_Cal leaned in so he could catch the Lasat’s dying words. He was so weak and close to death that the words came out as little more than strained whispers._

_“Your fear...cost me my life...you will always...be weak…”_

_The room went dark._

_A mechanical rasp sounded about the room. The hum of a lightsaber filled the air, a red glow joining it._

_Cal turned to find the source of the sound, to protect himself from the oncoming threat, but by the time he had found the cyborg, all he could see was a red arc bearing down on him, ready to run him through, make him feel endless pain, pain, pain-_

Cal gasped, his eyes shooting open in fear. He sat up and felt his healing wound received on Nur protest at the abrupt movement. He grabbed his side with his right hand instinctively, hoping that the pain would lessen.

The young Jedi Knight, however, didn’t even wait for the pain to subside before he hastily stumbled to the cockpit. His vision blurred with unshed tears, but he pushed toward the front of the ship. He needed to see the light of hyperspace. The walls felt like they were closing in on him, trapping him in his nightmare still. 

Cal was so anxious about making it to the window of the cockpit that he didn’t notice the woman from Dathomir sitting on the sofa.

The chair creaked as Cal dropped onto it, tears finally making their way down his face. His shoulders trembled under the weight of his mute sobs. He couldn’t stop reliving Master Tapal’s scathing words and the black cyborg’s horrifying attack. All he could hear were words of condemnation and the buzz of a lightsaber, until - 

“Cal?”

His head shot up and whipped around to the entrance of the cockpit. In his frantic state, Cal half expected his Master to continue his tirade about how his apprentice would never amount to anything more than a failure that got people killed. 

Instead, he found a rather concerned Merrin.

His right hand half heartedly wiped at the tear tracks on his cheeks in a pitiful attempt to pretend that he was alright, that everything was ok. He knew it was pointless to do so, but his need to keep up appearances was instinct at this point. He had spent years hiding his emotions in an effort to survive, a habit that couldn’t be broken overnight.

Cal sniffled weakly, “Hey, Merrin.” There wasn’t much more he could say.

The Nightsister slowly approached him, looking for any sign that he was uncomfortable with her doing so. She stopped within an arms’ length away from him and spoke, “What is wrong?”

Cal opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to tell Merrin of his nightmare, but no sound came forth. Cal shook his head, frustrated at the entire situation at hand. 

Merrin reached out with her arm to lightly grasp his shoulder, murmuring, “Come with me.”

He looked out of the cockpit to see the stars flashing by his eyes, but suddenly space was too big. It could swallow him at any moment with no hesitation, and he knew that if it did, he didn’t know how long it would take for him to crawl back out.

Cal nodded and let Merrin pull him out of the seat, through the holotable room, and onto the sofa. He moved to sit in the corner of the couch - the more of his body he protected, the better. Merrin sat on his right, waiting for him to start talking.

He let out a shaky exhale.

“When I was on Bracca,” he began, “every night I would have these nightmares of my Master dying. His last words were always about how I failed him.” 

Merrin reached up and started running her fingers through his hair. The young Jedi leaned into it; it had been so long since anyone had shown him any physical affection.

Cal’s breaths stuttered as he kept speaking, “Ever since we escaped from Nur, the cyborg in the black suit appears too…” Tears welled up and ran over again, but he pushed forward, saying, “I thought I had healed, that I had faced my past and was done with it, but after this...I-I don’t know…”

His head dropped, tears glistening down his cheeks. His shoulders hunched inward, and his body shook with the effort of suppressing his sobs. Merrin might have caught him in the cockpit, but he still didn’t want her to see him out of control.

He felt Merrin shift closer to him, wrapping her arm around him fully and resting her forehead against his temple. Her breath fanned across his cheek as she sighed.

“Cal,” she spoke barely above a whisper, “you and I were children when our lives were shattered. Those events are within us. They make us who we are.”

They stayed as they were for a moment, before Cal tried to argue, “But I thought I got over it. I thought I was finally back to where I was before the Purge...”

He spoke one last thought, which came forth as a whimper.

“Why can’t I just be normal again?”

Merrin pulled away and shifted again, taking Cal’s head into her hands and turning it so that he could look at her.

She smiled sadly, “We can’t be normal. We’re survivors. We adapt.”

Cal huffed, the closest thing to a laugh he could give.

Merrin tenderly wiped his tears away with her thumbs, trying to be comforting. She doubted it would ever be a strength of hers (seeing as all her family was brutally slaughtered when she was a child and she therefore had no one to comfort), but she wanted to try to comfort Cal. He was worth it.

Cal’s right hand came up to rest atop of Merrin’s, and he moved so that their foreheads were touching. His eyes were closed as he murmured, “Thank you.”

“Rest, Cal. I shall keep watch,” Merrin replied. He knew that she would. Merrin was fiercely protective of her friends; she wouldn’t let anything hurt them if she could help it.

They stayed in that position for a few moments longer, and Cal knew that he would have to confess his feelings to Merrin soon. There was no way friends would have been as emotionally intimate as they had been.

Confessions, however, could wait for another day.

With a nod and some maneuvering, Cal laid down on the sofa, his head on Merrin’s lap. Her hands weaved themselves into his hair again, and he hummed in pleasure. His eyes slipped closed as he drifted off to sleep. 

No more nightmares plagued him that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this cute little one-shot! I loooooove Jedi: Fallen Order, and I knew right after I finished the game that I would have to eventually write a fic for this couple. This was actually the first ever fanfic I wrote!
> 
> Comments? Questions? Feedback? Comment below!


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